Hipsters: Why doesn’t The Onion and other media make fun of hipsters?
By the power of Google I pronounce this question bullshit. Case closed.
Now That Hipsters are Mainstream do They Hate Themselves?
Shit Hipsters Say?
I wish I knew these hipsters. The ones I know don’t talk like that.
What are Some Differences Between Hipsters and Pseudo-hipsters and What is the Population Percentage Ratio Between the Two?
So, pseudo-hipsters have more letters in their name and hipsters have less.
Pseudo-hipsters claim they’re hipsters and hipsters try their hardest to be cooler than their peers.
People loath them both, however hipsters are early adopters, therefore they know about new things first, then when it gets mainstream, pseudo-hipsters adopt them, but that’s by the time that band that used to be cool when hipsters first heard about it is rocking the new car commercial.
Pseudo-hipsters are rocking keffiyehs in 2012. Hipsters are wearing legwarmers as scarves in 2012.
Pseudo-hipsters love Lana Del Rey. Hipsters heard from their nerd friends that her performance on SNL was horrendous.
Pseudo-hipsters Google about hipsters. Case closed.
What do you guys think? Let us know about other differences between pseudo-hipsters and hipsters.
I AM NOT A HIPSTER
Are you hipster if you watch I’m not a hipster?
The Science Behind Your Hipsterness
Kevin Lewis, a researcher from Harvard, explains: “The meaning of an indie/alternative taste rests not just in the taste itself—but also in being the only one among one’s friendship circle that expresses it,” he claims. “If I like The Decemberists, and suddenly my friends start liking them too, suddenly I’m no longer socially distinctive. So this taste loses much of its appeal and I will run off in search of some new band to express my ‘hip’ identity.”
So, the only thing I gather from Lewis’s research is that he’s not a hipster. I mean, the Decemberists? That is so pre-iPod.
Hey Lana: It’s Gonna Get Better
This is not the end of it, but it could have been worse. Hey, Ashlee Simpson bounced back, right? Right? I mean, she’s somewhere, doing something. She’s still Jessica’s sister. That can’t be that bad. It makes you interesting by proxy. I don’t know if you have any famous relatives, but I’d give them a call. Hey. Hey, no need to cry now. Worst comes to worst, a.k.a. your record release bombs just as bad as your performance, you still can be a lip gloss model. Or Angelina Jolie’s lips double. I don’t know, you’ll figure it out. Just hang in there. Harry Potter is on your side, so you can ask him to use some magic to help you out.
Have Hipsters Tried Bone Luging?
Haters gonna hate. Boners gonna bone.
Bone luge: coming to all bars in Williamsburg soon.
25 Things Lana del Rey Sounds Like
Things that sound like Lana Del Rey’s performance on SNL:
- My dog’s ass after he sneaks some chili
- a melancholy hobo on a riverboat
- a large land mammal in mourning
- shit
- an internet singer trying to perform live on TV
- Glee having a stroke
- a poet from Starbucks
- the inside of Rebecca Black’s head
- Michael Clarke Duncan in the shower
- one of those talking trees from Lord of the Rings trying to seduce another tree
- the worst lyricist ever
- CHUD on Broadway
- a girl whose dad is a millionaire who bought her a music career
- Ashlee Simpson’s understudy
- the aural equivalent of an abscessed tooth
- lazy hatred in music form
- Un-autotuned digestion
- Love poetry from a highschool drop out who gets high too much
- a terrible sign of the times
- the musical version of Clint Howard’s career
- the worst musical guest on SNL in ages
- A dumpster magically granted life
- a Morlock
- Mr. Hanky’s warm up routine
- a joke on all of us
Lana Del Rey Tells Us What’s What
Lana Del Rey addresses her critics after her dismal performance on Saturday Night Live.
I Look Uncomfortable on Stage.Staring off into space with a blank look on your face is very cutting edge and avant-garde. It’s about circumventing your expectation of what a performer is supposed to do on stage. You think I’m going to entertain you with tons of charisma and stage presence, but that would be giving you what you want. My art is transgressive. I am not interested in placating your need for gratification. I want to upset you.
You can watch the “performance” here.
Where Will Hipsters Be This Friday?
but ABSOLUTELY NO babies.
Open Bar 10-11. $2 entry before 11, $5 after
This month we’re having a very special guest, Saheer Umar of House of House. If you’ve ever seen a House of House set you know what you’re in for, if you haven’t, do your homework. Saheer specializes in stripped down house, no bullshit, no gimmicks. Sexy vocals, pounding bass drums, godlike piano breaks, jacking basslines, music that’s engineered for you to dance sweatily among others doing the same.
Aesthetics by A Pop
RINSED is Blacky II and Dan Wender
We’re back in the LOFT this month (unmarked door between Cubana Social and Music Hall of WIlliamsburg)
How Hipsters Break Up (With Me)
Submitted from Alexandria, LA. Send your break up texts to (646) 801-3068.
Missed Hipster Connection
The Unjustly Ejected Maroon 5 Enthusiasts - w4m - 22 (The Woods - Williamsburg)
Date: 2012-01-08, 8:36PM EST
Hipster Music: Leonard Cohen – Darkness
All you hipsters are listening to this song today, aren’t you?
Hipsters on TV: Portlandia – Mixology
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